So What's Therapy Like?

A couple of months ago, I decided to briefly share my struggles with depression. I was deeply touched by the amount of support I received from readers and friends as well. I was terrified when I first published that blog post but now I feel so much freer. It is wonderful to finally be able to be honest with my myself and if I helped someone do the same then that is even better.

For those that do not know, May is Mental Health Awareness Month. One of my twitter friends (@MacnMahalia) had tweeted about not seeing enough people share their experiences with therapy. Therapy is always thrown out there as a way to treat mental illness but nobody ever talks about what it's like. 

Admitting that I needed help was definitely a hard pill to swallow. I had stopped going through therapy as a teenager because I felt like I didn't need it anymore. I still suffered from depressive episodes but I held it all inside because I couldn't understand what was happening and I also didn't want to admit that something was wrong with me. It was when I was about 25 that I decided to find some help once again. I just couldn't deal with it anymore.

My insurance didn't offer me a whole lot of options, so I just the office that was closest to me. When I made the phone call, I was asked some questions in order to see if I qualified to receive services. Then, I was given an appointment to come in. At that appointment, I was assigned to a therapist, who will I refer to as Ms. H. I was lucky enough to find a therapist that I liked right away. Ms. H was great. The first couple of sessions were definitely awkward because I dislike talking about myself so there was a lot of silence. But, Ms. H was very patient and never pressured me to talk if I didn't feel up to it. Over time, we developed a rapport. Our sessions weren't just about talking, Ms. H helped me set up short and long-term goals as well as improve my self-confidence. She would give me little exercises to do in between our sessions to help manage my depression. I became more aware of things about myself, both positive and negative. But most importantly, I learned to accept having a mental illness. 

Therapy is definitely not a magical cure. And it is a process that takes dedication and patience. Like I mentioned before, it took several sessions for me to even say something. But once I started talking (and crying), the words just kept spilling out. It got easier to communicate.

Sadly, my time with Ms. H was cut short because she was transferred to another facility. And I did not like her replacement. Let's just say, she was pretty biased and was very quick to suggest medication (which I will elaborate in another post). So, I stopped going and found other ways to cope. But I do not regret going to therapy. I still struggle with my depression but I learned how to manage it. I can recognize certain triggers and it's gotten a little easier to ease myself out of those dark days. It helped me realize that my feelings are valid and that it is okay to receive help.

Cheap & Easy Boob Hacks

This is another post dedicated to a fashion hack. Taping up your boobs is something that is done throughout Hollywood. Kim Kardashian has shared a picture on her Instagram demonstrating her method in lifting her breasts in low cut clothing. This method is incredibly useful if your boobs hang a little low or if you simply want to give them a little boost. I'm a little self-conscious about mine so I was really happy when I discovered this hack.

A lot of people use duct tape but I honestly find that a little too sticky, which can make the removing process a little painful. I have found that athletic tape works really well and it is a lot easier to remove. For reference, I am a full B/small C. Fuller bust Mamis might have to use a little more tape but it will be just as effective. As a precaution, you might want to cover your nipples with some cotton pads or use nipple covers before placing tape over them. Otherwise, you might be in for a lot of pain. You also want to make sure that your skin is free of any oils and lotions. Otherwise the tape will not stick as well and might come out really wrinkly.

In the video below, I show two different ways in you can tape your breasts up to achieve a fuller and perkier bust. I hope you find the video useful and don't forget to pass it along to a friend in need :).




Thanks for watching!

My Name is Hav and I Suffer From Depression

An Introduction...

I have been wanting to expand into writing about different topics for a while now but I have been afraid to do so. I really dislike sharing personal details about my life. And it is incredibly scary to share something that still holds a stigma. However, I have noticed that there seems to have been an increase in suicides in people among my age. Mental Illness is very tough to talk about. If my opening up encourages more people to do the same; it would help break down the walls a little at a time.

I have suffered from Depression ever since I was a kid, around eight years old. There would be times where I would just get sad and/or burst into tears. Growing up in a Latino community, I was labeled as a "llorona" or overly sensitive. At school, it was suggested that I started seeing a therapist. So my mom started taking me to one. I have been in and out of therapy for years.

Last Summer, I also started suffering from anxiety.  I'm not going to lie, this was particularly difficult to deal with. I wasn't understanding what was happening to me. My body was reacting in ways that I couldn't control. I would start feeling like I can't breathe and I would be scared that I was going to die. Luckily, I have not had an anxiety attack in months.

There were a lot of times in my life, where the Depression would be so great, that I wouldn't think that I couldn't win the battle against it. One of these times was after having my son, Jeremy. I had a really bad case of Postpartum Depression. It was so bad that there was a point where I would be scared to be home alone because of the really bad thoughts I was having. I was lucky enough to have found a support group that helped me through it because at that time, I really felt like I couldn't.

As I've gotten older, I have come to accept that Depression is something that I would have to live with. I just refuse to let it define who I am. That is one of the reasons why I don't really talk about it. I didn't want people thinking of me as "the depressed girl". But talking about it and dealing with it is one way I will not let it control me.